Bette Midler Proposed to Her Husband Six Weeks After Meeting Him And They’ve Been Together for 38 Years
While some celebrities’ turbulent personal lives are constantly in the media, others have been in a relationship for years and live a quiet family life. An example of a celebrity couple with one of the longest marriages is Bette Midler and Martin Von Haselberg. They got married spontaneously when, after a short while of knowing each other, Bette proposed to Martin. There were difficult times in their marriage, but they overcame them and have remained together for 38 years.
Bette and Martin are both creative people.
Bette Midler and Martin von Haselberg met in 1984. By then, Bette was already an established actress and had managed to get her first Oscar nomination. Martin was known as a member of The Kipper Kids duo, performing in comedy shows.
Bette said that she thought of herself as a perpetual teenager and didn’t want to grow up. When she met Martin, he seemed more mature. It was this trait that attracted Midler. But later she realized that, actually, she and her husband were very much alike in that way.
Their wedding was very modest.
The lovers got married just six weeks after they met. Bette proposed to Martin herself. They didn’t waste time planning a lavish wedding but impulsively got married in Las Vegas. The ceremony was attended only by Bette and Martin, and an Elvis look-alike who pronounced them husband and wife.
For years, Bette and Martin thought they didn’t even have any photos from their wedding, since, in 1984, people didn’t have smartphones. But a few years ago, the chapel where they got married closed down and, the couple was suddenly sent some pictures. They had been taken by a photographer.
Soon after, the marriage nearly fell apart.
In 1986 the couple had a daughter, Sophie, but they ran into difficulties. The spouses argued seriously and often. Eventually, they agreed that they wanted to raise their daughter without traumatizing her in any way. So they decided to stay together.
Over time, their relationship did get better, and now, years later, they look back on that time of their life perplexed, and ask themselves, “What was that all about?”
The spouses learned to overcome conflict.
Having managed to deal with difficulties, Bette has noted a few of her own rules for a successful marriage. She believes it’s important to be able to take a break from each other. In addition, you have to learn to listen to your partner and be open to compromises. It’s also important to be patient and understand when it is better to avoid an argument altogether.
“Don’t diminish each other. Don’t make each other less. Don’t try to make each other wrong all the time. Don’t blame. Stop assigning blame. The blaming, I think, is the worst part. It’s so [easy to do] because you don’t want to carry the burden yourself. You want to push it onto someone else,” says Midler.
Bette and Martin were both actively involved in raising their daughter.
After the birth of her daughter, Bette didn’t give up her career. She said it was OK to be a housewife, and to be a mother is amazing, adding: “But if you have a passion for something and a talent for something, you should be able to follow your bliss.”
Martin’s support has allowed her to balance work with raising her daughter, the latter of which she considers to be her greatest achievement. The actress admits that she didn’t look after Sophie by herself and calls Martin the best father in the world. He was the one who taught the girl a foreign language and how to cook.
They organized their daughter’s wedding.
In 2020, their daughter got married. The parents helped Sophie with the wedding arrangements — Martin was responsible for the food and Bette for the flowers.
But most importantly, the couple set an example of a strong and long-lasting marriage for their daughter. Bette is proud of their relationship and the fact that they’ve stayed together for so many years. Back in 2014, when the couple was celebrating their 30th anniversary, Midler said: “It’s like a thousand years in dog years. Our marriage is the oldest marriage in Hollywood.”
What secrets of a long and happy marriage do you know?