After Childbirth, a Woman’s Husband Started Commenting on Her Weight. She Told Him Off During a Family Dinner and No One Judged Her
After childbirth, a woman’s body inevitably changes. She’s likely to gain weight and won’t necessarily lose it, or at least not straight away. Given the stress after such a huge event, and the need to adjust to a new daily routine, women expect support and understanding from their partner. Unfortunately, the reality can be very different from expectations.
A Reddit user faced some unpleasant comments from her husband about her changed body. At a family dinner, she couldn’t take it anymore and told her partner off. However, afterward, she started feeling guilty for ruining the evening. She shared her feelings online, but other users didn’t condemn her, instead, she received tons of support.
According to the author of the post, a few months ago she and her partner had a son. After that, her husband started making comments about the changes that her body had gone through. He wouldn’t insult her directly, but still, the young mom found his “observations” quite hurtful, especially given the vulnerable position every woman is in after childbirth.
Here’s what she wrote: “He’d see me wearing an old top and say, ‘Oh, that top used to look good on you but not anymore though...’ Or when he looks at my waist and says, ‘Wow, didn’t know your waist could get this wide!’”
As the Reddit user notes, for the most part, his comments weren’t aggressive and she tried her best to ignore them until he started making remarks in front of friends and family. In addition, she said, this went on for many months.
On Christmas, they went to the husband’s family home for celebrations. His sister complimented the new mom’s long floral print dress, to which her partner said, “I agree it looks nice on you...though I have to admit that your waist could get smaller than this!”
The room fell into an awkward silence. The woman was absolutely furious and felt that this was her last straw in putting up with her husband’s hurtful remarks. She says that at that moment she “got up from [her] chair in the middle of dinner and shouted at the top of [her] lungs: “SHUT UP ABOUT MY BODDDYYY!!!!”
She had been worried about it for a long time and started to question whether she was right or wrong. She felt that she had ruined her husband’s and the entire family’s Christmas by being overly sensitive, so she shared her thoughts on Reddit. Here’s what other users had to say:
- “His observations, as he calls them, are all direct insults. He is actively body-shaming you. Likely on purpose and fully aware of what he’s doing. He wants you back as you were before and fails to realize that bodies change. He is abusing you mentally and verbally. You simply reached the breaking point and let it out. Don’t start bottling up again. Rebuke him every time he says something in front of everyone until he either learns or leaves.” © Naive_Special349 / Reddit
- “This is not passive-aggressive and it is not an observation. It is degrading, humiliating, and abusive. He’s gaslighting you. The fact the comment during Christmas dinner was met with awkward silence shows that people see he is being awful to you. He embarrassed himself and started the scene. You simply had enough and stood up for yourself. Good for you! Please save yourself and your child from this toxic relationship.” © maria1978354 / Reddit
- “So basically he’s telling you he married you for your body and now it’s gone to pot cause you birthed him a baby?” © KikiMoon / Reddit
- “You didn’t ruin Christmas, he did.” © radioactive_koala / Reddit
- “His ‘observations’ are always cruel and uncalled for. To say it in front of others is amazingly hurtful, especially in response to a compliment made to you. He is trying to hurt and shame you about changes due to pregnancy; even if you didn’t have a baby, your body would change over time. Your husband [...] embarrassed himself by voicing his opinions about your body in front of his family. Bodies change. People age. If he can’t accept that, then you’re going to have a hard marriage. Take care of yourself and baby & keep telling him to keep his opinions to himself.” © Diligent-Activity-70 / Reddit