Not all Married Couples Sleep in one bed, and we’re Going to Explain why it’s Normal

We’re used to seeing a stereotypical married couple always sleeping in the same bed in movies. share a bed. Everyone enjoys seeing beautiful pictures of wives sleeping on their husbands’ chests or watching them smiling at each other as they awaken together. They had enough sleep, they’re happy, and the woman is already wearing her makeup on. In reality, it’s not like that: our limbs going numb, we want to swift the position, the partner is snoring, and there are so many other irritating things.

We, at CHEERY, are sure that if you are not one of those movie couples, and you are more comfortable sleeping alone, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or your relationship.

• For some people, it’s important to keep physical contact to their partners and feel close to them 24/7. Such people have sleep problems when their partners are away. So, if you are used to sleeping together with your partner, don’t change a thing.
• However, such behavior shouldn’t be dictated by anxiety and fear of losing your partner. According to experts, stress and anxiety are frequent causes of having nightmares. This is why it’s important to answer the question honestly: do you feel more comfortable sleeping alone, or with your partner?
  It’s silly giving in to social norms about couples sleeping together if it’s bad for your health.
  If you can’t remember the last time you woke up happy, if you often wake up at night because your partner pushes you or because they steal your blanket, maybe you should try sleeping separately.

• Sleep quality is often the most important factor in psychological health and well-being. It’s more important for health, emotions, and life satisfaction than even the amount of sleep. Studies show that even if you don’t wake up when your partner is snoring, it still doesn’t give you quality sleep. The thing is, quality sleep includes fast and slow phases of sleep. And noise is bad for fast sleep, which, in a short-term perspective, may make you irritable, and in the long-term, can cause high blood pressure.
• In fact, there are quite a lot of couples sleeping separately. According to statistics, 36 % of partners living together, sleep in different beds. Usually, young people before the age of 35 do this. Almost a quarter of couples prefer sleeping separately during their first year of living together, and around 20 % sleep separately more than 1 once per week. This is a good idea because good sleep is the base of having a harmonious relationship. Couples that don’t sleep well have more fights.

• If you think that mostly women like to sleep apart, you are wrong. A study showed that 36 % of women and 31 % of men prefer to sleep separately. And the reasons are quite odd: making room for a pet or not letting a jealous partner checking their phone.
• There’s even a term called “Sleep divorce”. It’s when partners agree to sleep separately to improve the quality of their sleep. And the term “divorce” shouldn’t frighten you. Scientists advise seeing sleeping separately not as " a step to a divorce" but as " a step to a healthy relationship." It’s hard to disagree with them. A person who sleeps well is more communicative, happy, empathetic, attractive, and funny. All these things are necessary for creating and supporting a good relationship. Sleeping separately allows us to have more pleasure spending time together in bed, especially on the weekend.

• But before deciding to sleep separately, you should make sure your body is okay during sleep. The thing is, while we are sleeping, we might not know about some serious problems, such as apnea. This is pauses in breathing for around 10 seconds. This condition may lead to more serious issues, so it’s better to ask your partner to watch you sleep and then watch them sleep to make sure you both are okay.

• There are no universal “Sleep divorce” conditions. But this is the point: every couple can come up with their own ideas. Some sleep separately several times a week, some — a couple of times a month. The most important things here is to find what fits both of you and how it can improve your relationship. Don’t let other people make you feel bad about it. Things other people might deem markers of success in a relationship (like sleeping together every night) could actually be the source of your troubles.
  
• It might seem like an impossible task to discuss it with your partner. How can you say, “I can’t sleep well with you”? However, you should think about the well-being of your relationship. Be honest with your partner, and tell them how really feel. Try to find a solution that is good for both of you. Psychologists say that it’s important to tell your partner how much you need their support, trust, and relationship, and it’s not separation; in fact, it’s the opposite. This way, you can save Your relationship and strengthen your emotional bond. Tell your partner that not sleeping well makes all the irritation build up and result in aggression, and you need to make so much effort to suppress that.

• Try to think less of what other people would say about you. Have faith in your relationship because nobody except you knows what’s best for you. Don’t let society make decisions for you, especially when it comes to how you sleep and enjoy your life.

What do you think about sleeping separately? Have you ever tried it?