15+ Parents Reveal How Their Life Changed After They Adopted a Child

Adoption is an important step that changes the lives of both children and parents. It requires a lot of responsibility, and people who choose to adopt a child should be prepared for different challenges they might have never expected to experience. Adoption is also a very complicated and sensitive process that will require all your energy, patience and love.

At CHEERY, we believe that every child should have loving and devoted parents. As these parents share, everything may not go smoothly. But every family has unique challenges that must be worked through.

• “I adopted a 15 year old, he was hell on wheels and made a lot of really poor choices. He’s now 20, and I am so proud of the man he became. It was a horrible time trying to get him to understand that we wanted the best for him, but he’s doing great now and is working really hard to create a loving family of his own.” © TYRwargod / Reddit
• “I’m very close with and crazy about my daughter. I hope she will one day want to meet her birth mother. It was so hard raising a colicky 3-month-old on my own, but it got easier when she reached age one. I know parenthood is not for everyone but for me, it’s the most rewarding thing ever. We look different (transracial adoption) but have the same values and ideas. I am so happy being her Mom and if I never make a good choice again, adopting her is enough for me!” © Charlene McHugh / Quora

«Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of adopting our foster daughter. I’m grateful for the honor.»

• “My greatest fear when I decided to have a kid is that I would not have a connection with them. It turns out it was nothing to worry about, my daughter and I are thick as thieves, which I am really grateful for. I’ve seen parents that have kids they love but don’t really like, and it is sad for everyone.” © robertcope / Reddit
• “Little things that seem routine for you may not be routine for them. Kids just don’t know because of a different way of doing things, and that was the way of life for them for 8 years. An example is teeth brushing. Her birth parents just didn’t teach her how to properly brush her teeth, she just kind of chewed on the brush and didn’t rinse her mouth out when she was done.” © kaoss77 / Reddit
• “We adopted twins and the experience destroyed our family. Psych admissions, school expulsions, etc. I could go on. It’s the one thing in my life I wish I could undo.” © Unknown author / Reddit

“There is always a way to have a family! For those of you who have gone through the infertility chaos and it didn’t work. Think about adoption. These 2 have brought more joy to my life that I didn’t think was possible. Love is love.”

• “My daughter is 11 and we adopted her when she was 5 years old. Honestly, she says things about me not being her ’real mom’ nearly every time we have an argument which is quite often lately because I looked at her or I sat next to her or I exist or any other offense. It hurts every time though I try not to let her know because I don’t want to hurt her. Every time I tell her that I love her no matter what. When she has had a chance to calm down she always tells me she’s sorry. It’s a pattern we have going.” © Anonymous / Quora
• “I became ’a dad’ to a little girl just after her second birthday, legally step-dad just before her fourth, and divorced her mother just after her seventh. But I remained the ’dad’ and I do to this day, and she’s 21 now. I told her the truth at 15 (as I know it) about her biological father who has never attempted to contact her. If she wanted to seek him out, I told her I would help her. She looked me in the eye and said, ’No. You’re my dad.’ That’s all I want to know.” © CelticCynic / Reddit
• “I feel I got lucky. He was 9 when we adopted him, but he was just grateful to have a home and people who loved him. My wife and I love him dearly as he does us.” © TyrannoDragon / Reddit
• “My wife and I took in a 17-year-old 4 months after we got married at 24 and 27. 2 years in, we are very happy with our decision. We walked her through everything: learning to drive, getting her first bank account, getting enrolled in college, the death of her father and mother, getting counseling, estate planning, taxes, and numerous health issues. It has been worth every minute and dollar we have spent to know we have gained a daughter and changed what life will look like for her and generations to follow.” © ThisIsNowAUsername / Reddit

“I got my dad a custom controller with the day he adopted me on the back as a present. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

• “We fostered 3 of our daughters and then adopted them. They came from severely abusive homes and were placed with us in their early teens. We adopted each of them as soon as we could. They, along with our birth daughter, are now middle aged adults and they still call us Mom and Dad. They have all built lives worth living.” © John Carey / Quora
• “Before adopting me, my parents adopted a baby who they quickly learned was deaf. They didn’t feel like they could raise the baby properly so they worked with the adoption agency to find deaf parents who were thrilled to have her instead. At first, I thought it was irresponsible that my parents would ’return’ a baby, but it really worked out better for everyone in the end.” © gerdinots / Reddit
• “My boys were adopted at 8-9 months (a year or so apart) from foster care and are now aged 3 and 4. I would recommend adopting however it’s not just an alternative to having birth children, it’s a totally different way of parenting and comes with a lot of challenges but for me was exactly the right thing to do.” © Mikah3 / Reddit
• “Teen years were rough. It’s hard to be a kid again after having to parent yourself and younger siblings. But now that she is an adult, things are better and calmer for us all. I would 100% recommend it. Even with the struggle, my child is a huge blessing and I can’t imagine life without her in it. She is one of the strongest people I know.” © giailh / Reddit

“The day I adopted my son. He was 8. He is now approaching 28, and we are closer than ever, to both my wife and I. I love him so much. Best decision I ever made.”

• “I have regretted it, but it isn’t an ongoing feeling. It’s very difficult to adopt a child from foster care. My son was older and he had experienced a lot of trauma and loss in his life. This comes out in difficult and extreme ways. He still struggles and I had to change my entire parenting style to fit what he needed, but it was worth it.” © Sugoi Harris / Quora
• “I took in a 15-year-old with severe mental health issues, she is 19 now (I’m in early thirties). It is funny now when we go hang out and she calls me Mum and my best friends (also female) Dad and Aunty. People get really confused. We’ve made our own strange family, haha.” © leislbug / Reddit
• “I forget what the argument was about when he shouted, ’You aren’t my real mother!’ I laughed and said, ’You are right, I’m not, but I’m the mother you’ve got. Go do your homework.’ (Or whatever it was.) It never came up again. It will happen — especially if you are afraid of it. Don’t take hurtful statements personally, it only gives them power.” © Jeanne Spellman / Quora
• “I adopted my daughter when she was age 10. It was pure hell to begin with as it was not shared with us she had serious psychological issues. After 7 years of therapy and many many tears, we had a breakthrough. Now 27 years later, I was asked if I recommended doing it. I was at a loss if I should have been honest or just say yes because once you get past the issues that will surely arise, it’s a wonderful thing to do.” © ComplexPick / Reddit

“Only 1 of our 3, (now) 14-year-old daughters, was born to my wife or I. We adopted a set of twins that were 11. This is them dressed to the nines, for their 8th grade banquet! It’s my lock screen, and my new favorite photo that makes me smile.”

Do you know anyone who adopted a child? Or maybe you did? Share your or their experience in the comments below.