Why Marisa Tomei, Despite High-Profile Romances, Remained Single and Decided to Never Have Children

By the age of 58, Marisa Tomei has built a brilliant career for herself, with dozens of acclaimed roles that have earned her fame and awards, including an Oscar. The smart and beautiful actress has always been an audience favorite. But only one fact has never let the haters rest: the actress doesn’t have and has never had a husband or children. Moreover, her stance on this issue is crystal clear: she feels happy without a family.

“Work has really been her life force.”

© marisatomei / Instagram, Berzane Nasser / ABACA / Abaca / East News

Marisa almost never gives interviews on personal subjects. She can talk for hours about filming movies and her characters but won’t show the same enthusiasm in commenting on her marital status or lack of children. The thing is, reveals one of the actress’ friends, that work is her true passion: “Marriage wasn’t something she ever truly pursued — even in her twenties. Work has really been her life force.”

To earn her place in Hollywood, Marisa worked tirelessly for years. She got her first role at the age of 20. It was a small appearance in the comedy The Flamingo Kid. Two years later, she made her debut on the theatre stage. But real fame came to Marisa in 1992 with the release of the comedy My Cousin Vinny.

For the role of Mona Lisa, she won an Oscar. Many would think: what a great start to a career. But Tomei wasn’t happy. Rumors started circulating in Hollywood that the presenter of the ceremony mistakenly called a different name than the one that was actually in the envelope. The young actress simply couldn’t have won the movie award over such revered colleagues as Miranda Richardson, Joan Plowright, Vanessa Redgrave, and Judy Davis. Marisa had to spend many years and put in a lot of hard work, embodying vivid roles in theater and film to keep proving that she was worthy of the award.

“I’m not that big a fan of marriage.”

In the mid-90s, Tomei was in demand — she was starring in two or even three films per year. Her high-profile relationships also added to the actress’s popularity. Thus, long before they met on the movie set of Spider-Man, Marisa was in love with Robert Downey Jr. However, after a while, the couple did break up. Other suitors attributed to Marisa include actors Dana Ashbrook, Christian Slater, Lenny Kravitz, playwright Frank Pugliese, and director Nicholas Carpenter.

However, she never got married to any of them. The tabloids claimed she was engaged time and time again, but Marisa always denied it. The most famous one of these cases occurred in 2013. Magazines wrote that the actress’s boyfriend Logan Marshall-Green had proposed to her. They even described the setting in which it happened. Once again, however, this was nothing more than a rumor. Soon after, the couple broke up altogether.

“I’m not that big a fan of marriage as an institution, and I don’t know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings,” the star once said, apparently tired of the media scrutiny of her private life. Even without a husband or children, the actress has a large family. While filming the show A Different World, she met Lisa Bonet, who became her lifelong best friend and made Tomei the godmother of all her children.

Living as you wish, without caring about the opinions and disapproval of others is not an easy task, but Tomei has successfully been managing it all her life. At almost 60, she still has to occasionally justify herself to the public for her deliberately single life. For Marisa herself, other things are more important. For example, the topic of feminism.

She has become one of the celebrities who urge women to not conform to other people’s expectations. Thus, after the 2019 Emmy ceremony, a scandal erupted around Marisa. The actress posed for the cameras with unshaven armpits. In the comments, fans were eager to argue with each other — some found this stance unacceptable for a star of her magnitude, while others saw it as a strong statement.

“Oh, I could play a lot of things.”

Another important point for the actress is what her on-screen characters are portraying to the audience. She once confessed that she regretted taking part in The King of Staten Island, in which she played the main character’s mother and in doing so opened Pandora’s box. Now the filmmakers attribute to her the role of a typical mother. But she has a very different dream. She wants to show the world, through her films, that women her age can still be love story protagonists, they can be vamps.

Even Aunt May in the Marvel Spider-Man films looks sharper, according to Tomei. Before filming the latest installment, she argued with the director, defending the character’s right to have relationships with women. The actress even came up with an idea of who her character could have a romance with. Marisa offered Sony producer Amy Pascal to be her on-screen love interest. But the filmmakers didn’t dare to make such a bold interpretation of the comics, and the idea was never realized.

Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich, and Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City, their characters once changed the world. They’ve become iconic, showing the world that a woman can be different and doesn’t have to fit into a box. And perhaps soon, one of Marisa Tomei’s characters will continue this list. After all, just like in real life, on-screen, the actress strives to break all stereotypes that might stand in her way, showing that happiness means something different for everyone.

Which one of Marisa Tomei’s roles is your favorite?

Cheery/People/Why Marisa Tomei, Despite High-Profile Romances, Remained Single and Decided to Never Have Children
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