Scientists Found Out Till What age It’s Okay to Sleep in the Same bed With Kids and What It may Lead To

Around 25% of Chinese, 47% of Brazilian, and 30% of Italian parents sleep in the same bed with their school-aged kids. Is it good or bad? Psychologists, sociologists, and scientists around the entire world are trying to find the answer and understand what such a habit might lead to.

We at CHEERY were also interested in how sleeping with your kids affects them, and till what age it’s considered normal.

Co-sleeping with children is a not a new thing.

For many centuries, parents and children have been sleeping together. It’s comfortable because you don’t need to wake up and calm the baby down or feed them at night. Also, most of our ancestors just didn’t have another room for a child. So, it was perfectly normal to sleep in the same bed, or at least, keep the baby’s bed at arm’s length.

Over time, society started talking about children’s independence more and more and their separation from parents. Probably, the most famous example is Dr. Spock that recommended leaving babies in their beds, closing the door, and ignoring their crying to establish boundaries between children and adults.

Why parents and children need co-sleeping.

Co-sleeping is surrounded by a lot of myths about its dangers. In fact, it’s just a habit that can be dropped, if necessary. It’s much more important to understand why a child chooses to sleep with someone, and not alone. Very often, it’s because a child is worried about something or has a sleeping disorder. In both cases, separating the child from the parents won’t solve the problem, and might only make it worse. Such cases require consultations of experts.

However, it’s also possible that parents and children just love sleeping together, and as long as it’s comfortable for everyone, it’s okay.

Aside from the emotional point of view, many scientists studied the physical aspect. So, they found that when parents and children co-sleep, their bodies adapt to each other. It’s about breathing, heartbeat, and even brainwaves. So, co-sleeping reduced stress in both adults and children.

What it affects.

One of the most popular concerns is that the child will grow up too attached to the parents. But according to psychologists, there’s no evidence to believe this. Yes, at some point in time, the child might have a stronger connection to the parents, but in a long-term perspective, it’s actually beneficial for children.

When children are quickly separated from their parents and taught to sleep alone, it may have a very negative impact on them. Experts recommend waiting for the child to be ready to sleep separately. By the way, for unknown reasons, scientists found that parents co-sleep with boys longer than with girls.

On top of that, co-sleeping affects parents on the hormonal level. Fathers, sleeping with their children, have lower levels of testosterone. So, they become more sensitive to children.

When it’s time for children to sleep separately.

There are a lot of conflicting opinions about when it’s time for children to start sleeping separately. But it’s mostly about stereotypes, not science. According to psychologists, there is no universal answer. It’s just as individual as the decision when to stop playing with toys. All people are ready at different times.

And one more important conclusion of scientists: co-sleeping for any period has no negative effect on children’s mental health.

How to help children to start sleeping separately.

When children and parents are ready to start sleeping in different beds, adults need to help children adapt to different sleep conditions. For starters: the new place for sleep should be attractive: colorful bed linen, favorite toys, and decorations can help a lot.

Also, don’t disappear from your child’s ritual of falling asleep. Psychologists recommend waiting for the child to fall asleep and then go away. Of course, don’t forget about praising. What seems simple for an adult (falling asleep in a new place) is a big step for a child.

Bonus: The celebrities that chose to sleep with their kids

Many celebrities don’t only co-sleep with their kids, but also talk about the advantages they find in it. Gwen Stefani, Heidi Klum, and Kourtney Kardashian are together with their kids at night. The star of The Big Bang Theory Mayim Bialik shares her experience with young moms online.

In one of her interviews, Angeline Jolie told that they had a rule in their family: sleeping in the same bed together on Sundays. And Milla Jovovich and her husband bought 2 giant beds and moved them together to fit the adults and children. The star says that it helps them preserve a special connection.

When do you think it’s time for children to start sleeping alone?