40 Brutally Honest Quotes That Hit the Nail on the Head
Sick of insincere inspirational quotes? Tired of the sappy tone of motivational quotes? Join the club! Our collection of demotivational quotes will bring a smile to your face and make you laugh with their irony. These quotes are inspiration disguised as sarcasm, meant for entertainment, not to bring you down.
Find our selection of hilarious demotivational quotes just below. Share with your friends who appreciate a good sarcastic joke.
1.
«Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.» — Marion G. Harmon
2.
«Challenging yourself... is a good way to fail.» — Dom Mazzetti
3.
«The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.»
4.
«You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.»
5.
«Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.»
6.
«It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.» — Harry Hill
7.
«There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.»
8.
«Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so... maybe calm down.»
9.
«Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.» — Alan Dundes
10.
«Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.»
11.
«Idiocy — never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.»
12.
«If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.»
13.
«People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.»
14.
«A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.»
15.
«Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.» — Albert Einstein
16.
«If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments»
17.
«If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.» — W.C. Fields
18.
«It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.» — Ashleigh Brilliant
19.
«Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.»
20.
«Just because you are unique doesn’t mean you are useful.»
21.
«Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.» — Drew Carey
22.
«I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.» — W.C. Fields
23.
«Multitasking — the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.»
24.
«Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.» — Margaret Mead
25.
«The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.» — Douglas Adams
26.
«If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.» — Dorothy Parker
27.
«Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.» — William Goldman
28.
«Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.»
29.
«When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.»
30.
«Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.» — Dwight Schrute
31.
«Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.» — Lemony Snicket
32.
«The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.» — Bette Midler
33.
«Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.»
34.
«Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you’re finished.»
35.
«The road to success is always under construction.» — Lily Tomlin
36.
«There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.»
37.
«Go ahead and take risks — it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.»
38.
«The reward for good work is more work». — Francesca Elisia
39.
«Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.» — John Benfield
40.
«Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.»